Illuminati Arts - Mattias Lindblom



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  1. I Loved You - The death of illusion, the birth of a ghost 

    Dear friends,

    Happy Friday.

    One of our songs tell ‘Life is accidental… I never meant to hurt you, you never meant to hurt me. But we all get our hands a little dirty’.

    We wrote it just like that because it’s true. It’s the simplest of truths. 

    To survive and learn from loss is something that we all deal with at some point and in this life. Some more then others, some just once. It’s of course not fair but unavoidable and could mean everything for you, today and all your tomorrow’s. It might take a while to make the connections and see how and why you are where you are, and it’s there for everyone to discover.

    Life IS accidental, but how you deal with loss, survive and learn certainly is not. And that’s true…too.

    That’s why today is so very important. How you treat people, the choices you make and how you love yourself. Love yourself by loving others, truthfully. Don’t disconnect yourself because you can’t see consequences today. There always are. And the consequences of true love are always fundamentally good. For everyone.

    You is me, are we…

    I Loved You deals with long ago loss and how it effects the recent and present and possibly tomorrow. But there’s no better place to start. No better way then to express truth then right at the beginning of hurt. It must start with truth. All should. Everything else is much harder. In every way. So, it’s sounds that goes back to the start in so many ways. Starting with an end. One of many important endings. But the most important ending, one that saw the end of hope. 

    Love in itself can come and go but there’s nothing like the loss of hope. 

    But there’s hope…

    - How did you get through it? 

    - I didn’t have a choice. Not if I wanted to stay alive. And I wanted to live, to breathe. I walked the earth starving for a long time. Starving for a connection. To reconnect with something…someone. 

    - Maybe the search will never end?

    - Maybe it never does. For anyone. 

    - Never lead these people in the wrong direction. Never fool them. It’s more painful to them. 

    - I am you.

    Dear friends. From our heartbox to yours. 

    Stay kind, 

    Vacuum, Mattias and Anders

    ps: All info on Heartbox and I Loved You can be found on

    Please help us spread the link to the video if you like it. And please wait for us to present where the song will be available for best quality. We don’t want you to experience anything less then the way it’s supposed to sound.

    ps2: And just so there’s no confusion:-), here’s the lyric.

    I Loved You

    A. Wollbeck, M. Lindblom, B. MacKichan

    Somebody called me angel, oh wait that was you
    Somebody shared a secret, oh yeah that was you too

    I’m a little bit broken and a little dead inside
    Cos you know when it’s over when someone says…

    I loved you
    FInd you and no one else
    In many different people
    That’s why I hurt myself

    Yes I loved you
    Like no one ever felt
    To young to live a lifetime
    A cry for help

    I loved you

    So now I’m busted open, I’m drained and on my own
    For every word unspoken, to loud when I’m alone

    Gotta stitch it back together but I’m in pieces on the floor
    Cos you know that it’s over, when someone says…

    I loved you
    FInd you and no one else
    In many different people
    That’s why I hurt myself

    Yes I loved you
    Like no one ever felt
    To young to live a lifetime
    A cry for help

    I loved you
    Yes I loved you…

    And I watch an ocean rising
    And I feel it won’t be long
    Cos you’re flooding the harbor now
    I can’t hold on

    I loved you
    Yes I loved you…

    Yes I loved you
    FInd you and no one else
    In many different people
    That’s why I hurt myself

    Yes I loved you
    Like no one ever felt
    To young to live a lifetime
    A cry for help

    I loved you
    Yes I loved you…

  2. 11

    Someone said, you carry first impressions for the rest of your life. I sure hope so. The other day I took a post Christmas eve morning stroll down to my ocean. It truly is stunning this time of year. Given to me as a gift, I first gazed at it’s horizon and stood on it’s shoreline being all…about some years old give or take. And given my tender age, remarkably, I still recall. Shortly after that reality bending life moment, I gracefully mounted my huge inflatable dolphin, rode it out to sea in a pirate kind of way, and initiated a pre emptive attack on my parents, kindly letting them know an ice cream was due as soon as we returned to dry land. It was summer. The ice cream tasted of pear and my blanket was soft and velvety.

    It’s one of the few constants in my life, my ocean. And in this case, first impressions do last.

    I’ve been standing there ever since I think. I don’t think I ever left. Parts did. My wardrobe in Stockholm to my size and taste would suggest so. Once in a while, I return to the shore to find myself a little. Especially around Christmas, it’s a warm reunion in the cold winter wind, sweeping the beaches clean of clutter. Leaving tough, dark and dried up seaweed to add contrast to any keen iPhone photographer. The only thing changing is the length of the shadow I cast on the dunes, and the size footprint I leave. Different year, different shoes. Other then that, it’s identical. Together with other life moments like love, music, Christmas, and now 11…why, these are a few of my favorite things, as the song goes. And I love that song. Sure, if you wanna nitpick and go into detail, Christmas for one, can be a demanding mistress. But over all, it’s a wonderful and cunning invention. They say in love and war. I say, in love, in war and at Christmas time. Normal rules just don’t apply. Take Santa for an example. Explain that in a state fashion. Normal rules don’t apply. My dear ocean, with you, I’m forever too young to spend a lifetime together. But I’ll come back and see you from time to time.

    But 11, that’s what we’re here to discuss. A year has come to an end and it needs to be reflected upon, upover, upunder and from the slightly left in a very non political way.

    Captains personal blog 2011.

    Dear friends,

    You couldn’t squeeze an atom between me and 11. Every second, minute, hour of every day. At the side of outburst of laughter, creativity and anger. Through complete heartache. When bored silly nilly, ecstatic, deeply moved and deeply thankful. Wading through the shallows. Always there in challenges and living adventures, dramas, shopping, tv shows, illusions and ghosts. This whole year, 11, you’ve been there. Like that song by The Police. You my friend (11, not Sting), displayed great depth and headroom (although Sting did that too probably, still talking about 11). Good boy. Now sit.

    When I was embedded in stage lights, devoured by shadows or in deep conversation with some of the most amazing people I ever had the pleasure being in the presence of, present company included. When alone in front of the old computer, typing endless lines of lyrics. Or writing diary as those two seem to overlap. The line between the two is a dot to me. You did good 11. Good boy. Now sit.

    Ten thousand meters up in the sky, all over Europe, to the bottom of a swimming pool, exhaling and meditatively sinking, watching the sun rays pierce the surface whilst spinning and getting that good dizziness. 11, hope you enjoyed the ride from the top of an alp down, down we went, to the studio in front of a microphone expressing with a burning need what was to be expressed through music. Painting the most dramatic, historical pictures to get the most out of a vocal take. At times absolutely overwhelming me. 11, we did all that. In front of many, in front of no one. Through doubt, nerves, heart glow and a wedding. When I believed in promises. When I had word of good news. When life totally changed. When love was described to me as “the desperate need for the other one to be happy”, expressed by the Lama. 11. Really. Good boy. Now sit.

    11, my answer is a no. I will not miss you. But I’ll keep you for always. I’ll save what fragments I find lying around and keep them in my heart box. In a warm embrace of nostalgia and remembrance. You were so very, very important. Good boy. Now sit.

    11, I can’t recall a year as wild as you. As unexpected. As opposed to escapism as can be. You were pretty damn head on! I believe I pretty much sensed every bit of you. I’m a bit of a daydreamer. But sometimes you were unavoidable for days at a time. You sure worked hard to make your presence noticed too. Really shaking me like a rag doll…at times. You were hellfire too. Brimstone and melting lava. You we’re as close to absolute heaven I’ve ever been. In the good way. Spiritual, opening windows I did not know existed. I can’t recall a year as wild as you. What a good boy 11. Now sit.

    11, you took away some things but replaced them when I least expected, with hope and love. You dragged me as far as possible from some people, and as close as possible to others to whom I’m forever grateful. For my sake, in the name of hope, growth and change. In so many ways, you saved me. Hope. Bob Hope once said, “A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it”. Good boy, now sit.

    Though I walked through the valley of you, I feared nothing. I was braver then I’ve ever been. Even in moments of absolute silence and stillness. You gave me music, and music…gave me adventures. There were many of them. The best moments. And 11, when they happened, I was there to feel it. It was overwhelming. Bigger then me. 11, you brought moments that totally changed everything. Life moments. Click. You made me pretty damn honest. How very good of you boy. Now sit.

    You’re so 365…11. And that’s ok. That’s a sufficient number. Well done. Good boy. Now sit.

    Thousands of people. Vacuum-people. Ukraine, Russia, Ibiza, Norway, Germany, Bulgaria, Denmark, Holland, Italy, Austria…I loved it all 11. Thank you. I can not believe I sat, just a few months ago, speaking with a movie producer who actually knew Audrey Hepburn. I miss her. Can we get some of those amazing people back in 12 please? Those great ones who keep silent in this loud world we live in. The ones that don’t scream. The ones who don’t need Power Point to get a message across. You know the ones. 11, before you go, have a talk with 12. Sort that out please. Good boy. Now sit.

    Now, You’re historical, mythical and Yesterday by John Lennon. and I’ll love you like that. I’ll love you for what you were. You’ll never have to change. I will never ask you too. And I’ll keep you. I’ll keep you in my heart box. Thank you. Good boy. Now rest.

    Stay kind & Happy New Year,


  4. Eternal heart glow.

    Dear friends,


    Today I think I had the most wondrous musical experience of my life. Hopefully so far, but I’m pretty overwhelmed, humbled and the reactor meltdown I have in my heart region, I’m pretty, pretty sure will last me a good while. What’s the half time on reactions like these I ponder. I can never enough stress how talented Anders Wollbeck is. Sure, we all have our up’s and down’s. But when Anders has an up, it’s not like the rest of us. The music is so beyond, supernatural and burns through me like radiation. It’s as religious as it gets. A proper heart high. Sure I push him fucking far sometimes. But when we find that…thing. Throw me over a cliff, it’s worth it. As long as I work with Anders, I know there’s eternal heart glow. And my dear Michi…life moments. We’ve talked about it. This mornings listening marked one of them. I’ll never forget it, for as long as I live. I have a job that brings tears to my eyes sometimes. To be moved like that is a privilege. It’s what I always wanted. What else is there? My oh my, what music does to my heart… Where will it end? Can music finally break your heart? All I know is, it takes a strong heart to sustain emotions. And right now, after today, my heart is aching as it’s filled to the brim with music…no more…for today. Maybe just one more listen… To make sure it’s still there. Eternal heart glow. 


    When I was a little, tiny kid I went to London with my family over Christmas. It was sweet times. Amazing times. Big times. If not only because of my humble height. We stayed at this cozy, very British hotel in a Churchill kind of way. With a proper lobby fireplace with huge, soft sofa’s where you could have hot, too sweet british chocolate and just cozy in between my parents and sister, bushed after a long days shopping at a beautiful, yet tastefully Christmas lit Harrods department store. The best one in the world. You know, with that feeling in your stomach that Christmas is just around the corner. I even got to ride around town some on my own. That was awesome. What a grand adventure. You don’t forget a thing like that. 

    My dad took me to see the awful horror movie Friday the 13th and I was terrified way beyond my age and shoe size. But before you call child protection services on his ass, bare in mind he was there to calmly guide me through it…with his loud snoring. Dad fell asleep. I remember him telling me when I was still petrified after the movie that whenever I held his hand, I’d always be safe. You don’t forget a thing like that. 

    My mom naturally yelled at my dad when she heard about the movie and promptly took me to see Singing In The Rain with Tommy Steel to cleanse my tainted child’s mind. I liked that too. Not the yelling, but Tommy Steele. He sang like a trooper, skipped over couches, hung in the chandeliers  and my mom, I suspect, had a bit of a crush on the guy when she was a little, tiny kid like me. I could see it in her eyes. They had a certain shine when he walked out on stage. You don’t forget a thing like that. And I’m pretty sure my dad was ok with it. Although he did make fun of Tommy’s big teeth afterwards.

    Fast forward a decade and a half, London again. Christmas and Harrods. Fireplace in the lobby and hot chocolate plus the cinematic masterpiece; Home Alone. In my family there has always been a couple of movies that has played an important part in our over all Christmas joy and fun. First National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. My mom had a crush on Chevy Chase as well. I think she saw a resemblance with my dad. Something he didn’t want to admit but couldn’t help laughing about when my mom lovingly convinced him about it. And then there’s Sound Of Music, my all time favorite musical and…Home Alone. That Christmas in 1990 we saw it, in London. And how we laughed. You never forget a family moment like that. My dad, sis, mom…all amazing. All a kid could ever want. You don’t forget a thing like that. Plus I stocked up on some pretty important albums that would totally shape my future in music. See, back in those days, London was the place for music. It was all very cool.

    Not much of a point to my story, but I watch it religiously every Christmas. And I laugh. I watch Chevy’s Christmas Vacation with my sis every year…and we laugh. I laugh at the same places as I did when I was a kid. The kind of laughter you as an ‘adult’ would be slightly uncomfortable with. I don’t care. I build Lego. Sue me. Watch it this Christmas. You’ll be happier for it. Bergman schmergman. :-)


    I’ve recently taken to the methodology of looking at life as a series of small and grand adventures. It makes it easier in a way and much more exciting and thrilling in another one I keep under lock and key below decks. Life in itself is an adventure. Salute it every day. It’s the one you’ve been dealt and even though Indiana Jones dug up the Ark in Egypt during a raging world war, that i can only suspect made things extra difficult passing through customs, I feel real life is grander then any Hollywood mind could ever conjure up. I did enjoy Tintin in 3D though. That was pretty dang awesome and should result in the complete shut down of Spielberg’s comment section, clogged up by love. Ok, back to plot. Adventures. Yes, and a’thank you kind lady. 

    I think it’s important I shed some light on these last adventures I’ve had the great pleasure partaking…in. A pompous start. Slightly pretentious and possibly too difficult for me to sort out, but there you go. Because I’ve waited too long really. There’s just too much to tell. And I fear, if I just open my heart and let out all these amazing emotions, or remeniss as any given american rapper would express it, I’m pretty, pretty sure I’d have some kind of emotional meltdown. I’m pretty sure my computer couldn’t sustain it. Even the furniture would be in question. Even though it’s a tasteful mix between brand objects and IKEA bargains. 

    By luck and good fortune I found myself on stage in the wonderful city of St Petersburg one gorgeous pre winter night. And if you’ve ever been to Piter, as us frequent flyers call it, you know what I’m talking about. An absolutely outer worldly, historical, monumental city, mirrored in the blackness of the dark evening, and very Russian, city river. It splits the city in two, resulting in frustrating bridge action. Housing the ghost of Rasputin (who said that and what have you heard?), and I bet one or two other secrets, it’s well worth the wait though just starring at the beauty. The pristine, fresh air, the pre show pounding of the heart waiting, wandering outside, backstage. You know the story. I went through all those emotions ranging from despair, painting the worst scenarios in my mind where my voice completely breaks, the audience is bored and this one time when I’m actually falling off stage and suffer a crucial blow to my backside resulting in some kind of involuntary Laurel & Hardy moment. All the way to moments of pure ecstasy and the involuntary need to beat on Olof a little to get rid of excess energy. Very kind of him to let me. Very kind. I used to bite my best friend at school. Basically everyday until’ I was like 16. I’d bite him again if I see him. Which I will, and I’ll make good on my promise too.

    I go through all that right, someone says “it’s time”, I walk up on stage and…it’s like walking straight into Eden. It’s completely calm. I feel the energy of this amazing audience. It embraces me and I feel as if I’m floating a little. I just sing…calmly. Im very surprised. The whole thing culminates somewhere around Know By Now when me and Michi do this stripped down, naked performance. There’s no rhythm. Just a flow. I remember worrying just a little…I’m feeling to much. How am I going to finish the show with all these emotions, I ponder. At the end of the song I’m actually levitating a little. Turns out I have both feet on the microphone stand but before you call me David Blaine, there was true magic in the air. Afterwards, I didn’t talk much really…about it. I talked, but about everything and nothing. My brain processing the experience. It was wild man as my 70’s me keeps expressing it. Honestly, was too young in the 70’s. Spent a big chunk of it as a baby. But I’ve seen Easy Rider and stuff. So, yeah dude…that was something else. Probably far out too.

    And I’m thinking, am I finally catching up with time? I know one thing. It was the wonderful people there, in Kiev, Piter, in Khabarovsk a few years ago…these amazing vacuum people all over that made the moment. There’s an energy here. Something quite spectacular. Thank you. You keep telling me it means so much…again, means the most to me. If Vacuum is an adventure, there’s no one I’d rather experience it with then you guys. I can’t wait to see where we go from here. Mars seems but a small step away. A giant leap for NASA maybe. But concerts like these are quite interplanetary anyways. Sorry NASA, we gots our own vessel. And this time, a huge thank you to Ave for setting it all up. She’s quite spectacular you know. And the nice champagne breakfast we had in the lobby guys…that was awesome!

    The other weekend I cuddled a moose. How’s that for Christmas spirit?


    And Kiev…how I’m falling in love with that place. One of the worlds great cities. Thousands of years old. Literally. Did this TV show in Kiev. What an adventure that was. Thank you vacuum people for showing up again and being all amazing. It was one of those music competition shows with a jury in it. Got a little taste of what it must feel like standing there every week, getting judged. Here’s a fact. Not easy! I did this duet with a sweet, sweet girl. Considering the massive pressure of the whole thing, I must say she was spectacular. I heard she got voted off the very next week but I’m sure she’s singing anyways somewhere as I type!:-) 

    And I have to tell y’all about amazing Oksana. Goodness she works hard to make these adventures possible. If you see her, give her a hug. Thank you O. Here’s to many more in 12 and upwards. What an absolute gem you are.

    No seriously. At Skansen, in Stockholm, you can cuddle the moose. It’s astonishing really.

    The next grand adventure seems to be Odessa. This pearl at the Black Sea. This Mecca of riviera architecture and wonderfulness. New Years too. How amazing is that? Can’t wait. 

    Oh, my dear friend Anatoly is a bit of a beer brewer! One would suspect alcoholism but on the contrary mon frère, quite the scientist. The grand brewery Baltica where Anatoly is a bit of a big shot invited us to brew some beer. But not any beer, noooooo. People, it’s the Vacuum Winters Brew. It has all kinds of great stuff in it. Cinnamon that I love for instance. We had a great old time being shown around the brewery by Anatoly and his peeps. Hence the very cool brewery photos below. I’ll report on the brew once it arrives. Very exciting. Thank you my dear friend.

    Ok, there’s a lot more to be told. But I fear I would take to much of your time. So for now, I bid you adieu. 

    Stay kind,


    Some amazing vacuum people at the Piter concert. Thank you. You’re all total sweethearts.

    He looks cool to that Wollbeck.

    It’s busy days in Lindblom’s Vacuum Town.

    Tim Burton. A must around christmas.

    Alex at champagne breakfast.

    And there we were. Life moment. Click!

    Sweethearts meeting me at the airport! The dude on the right sat next to me on the plane. He was in Russia to compete in Jeopardy!:-)

    Michi all holy at our sweet dinner with my dear friends Oksana, Reza and Zenya!

    Massive love to this bunch! Thank you so much for coming!!!!!

    Just like this one. Fancy! From the Piter concert.

    In Kiev, this one time, we had our very own retro dressing room bus!

    Halloween fun with Oksana. The new TV show coming to a TV near you!

    Oksana was all happy and thing!

    Olof was all fancy.

    Going through the motions.

    After we were all smiles!

    Ave’s a bit of a dish:-)

    I was very impressed by the lobby!

    There we were at Anatoly’s brewery! Thank you dear friend. I’ll update on the brew once it’s done!

    How sweet is this! Anatoly even made the labels in Swedish! The very, very secret ingredients of the Vacuum Winters Brew. :-) Only some though…still secret in total.

  5. For Steve.

    ‎”Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs

    Dear friends,

    I have to choose my words carefully. It feels important to get this right. I started this blog with a few words from a man that meant the world to me. And to the world for that matter. That’s indisputable. Steve Jobs was a very important human being. RIght next to people like Lennon, Da Vinci and a handful more. I truly and honestly believe that Steve Jobs made me a kinder person, the world a more bearable place and was as close to a true magician we have ever seen. A true artist. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t think that himself. He must have been very busy. 

    I love Steve. And I call him Steve because since 1984, the year I feel had the most impact on shaping my life with Frankie Goes To Hollywood, London and what have you, I came home from school and my dad had put a 128kb strong Macintosh on my desk. And it changed everything. I spent the next two weeks with the mouse in my hand rolling the ball with my fingers to move the cursor, until a friend of mine came by, called me stupid and put it down on the table, helping me out in a ‘think different’ sort of way. Thus aiding my imminent carpal tunnel syndrome. But that’s how much I loved my Mac. Slowly moving the cursor to make things happen on the screen, listen to the Apple audio tape that came with it, over and over and over again. I even fell genuinely in love with a girl based on her dad working at Apple. 

    I call him Steve because I feel very connected on a personal level. I felt it. I got it. He spoke to me. I bought every book, every magazine and not only because I loved my Mac because sure it was amazing, but I wanted to know all about Steve. I wanted to understand and learn. I felt part of a movement and a company that hoisted a pirate flag on the headquarter roof. After Sex Pistols, there was Steve. And he changed everything.

    I feel I have to choose my words carefully. Steve did. At least in public. And let’s remember that. Because he played a major role in this new era where we’re all…public in a way. Let’s have…taste. And who’s the judge of that when Steve is gone? Steve. Because I truly believe his footprint is a beacon for all of us in some small or major way. If you lack taste, look to Steve. Ask Bill Gates. I’ll do my best. 

    But most of all, I will go my own way. For as long as I can I will follow my heart, my intuition. The rest…is secondary. 

    stay kind,


  6. Because I know you precisely and doubt you absolutely.

    Dear friends,

    Don’t let the title put you off. When you’re through the blog it’ll all make sense. If you’re a genius. And I know you are. 

    A sweet friend sent me this little fine piece of…well, heart I guess. Before digging into my blog I suggest you check it out. It’s sweet at it’s worst and profound and so true at it’s best. So take a minute and sit back.

    That’s something right? Something to believe in. True that, without taking away any of that wondrous feeling I hope you have inside of your chest right now by using street lingo.

    I’m just back from Ibiza. Sonic Vista Studios, Henry, Klaus, Andy, Cris, Anders, Marie and on we go. Sure I like Ibiza. But I love my friends. What Henry has created down there in the midst of pine, hills, pools and a very non pornographic strippers pole, as it’s mostly us boys clinging on it like some kind of frog-like creatures (original brand btw), is a haven. It’s a fine blend of friends and animals alike, music and studio, heart and to me, a bit of a second home actually. It’s so very inspiring and I’m lucky to, from time to time, be there in the middle of the good. It’s super emotional to me too as so many things have transpired there. It’s a melting pot of emotion. But at the end of the day…all good bro, as Henry would put it. Thanks brother. YOU make it all good. 

    Life is a bit of highway sometimes. And I’m thinking, if we don’t stop once in a while and see if there’s an exciting exit, we might miss so much of it. On we go, take in, let go and move on. Sometimes for the better, sometimes just plain wrongly so. And being a bit of a romalgic fool, sometimes it’s all very confusing to me. See what I did there? Romantic-nostalgic. Romalgic. Double whammy. Pick up your award at the exit, third row to the left.

    In those moments when feeling romalgic I’ve learned to listen only to my heart and ask for help by close friends. And I’ve been super strong these last 15 years in dealing with things on my own. Being that guy. The guy that has all the answers when it comes to me and my life. Sometimes for the better, because over all I think I’ve managed to do ok, but sometimes just plain wrong. Because I don’t have them all. The answers. And to be quite honest, I very much doubt anyone does. That I know…is for the better. 

    And it’s like fire sometimes. Fire that burns away all sense and you just have to push through. The heart overflows at night and there’s no plumber in sight. Because, if one brick falls away, the whole tower’s in jeopardy. All is up for questioning. It feels like your whole existence is. And eventually, you will start playing by the rules, starting with; what? And when you reach some sort of truth in the fact that you don’t have all the answers…it hurts. Because you realize, you’re not that guy always. Just maybe, you’re not the one you think you want to be. You’re just you. And in time, you realize that’s always for the better. You, is the best you that can ever be. You’ve always been you. Somehow you just chose to cover up with layers of circumstance and armor. 

    I was on celebrity Jeopardy once a long time ago. Lost out. Risked it all and came second. The humiliation.

    Ok, a healthy armor is never wrong. But the impenetrable shell that works like chemo, killing good and bad…not so much. That’s where bad ego and one track minds flourish. And since it’s what you wear on the outside, it’s what you see when you look in the mirror and at others around you. They reflect that crap back at you. It’s a good looking uniform but it represents fear. It’s all very confusing. Bare with me. You can’t twitter these things. 

    'Fools like me can change.' But hang on, it's not all up in smoke. I do know this and that. Bits and pieces. But far from everything. And I want other people to fill me in. See that's a great 'let go' I'm pondering. And I'm still a confident guy…most of the time. 

    The Autobahn is the duller choice. If you’re going south, don’t miss out. Take a side road from time to time. 

    And here we are. End of blog and maybe none the wiser? I believe not. If only putting words to the bleeding obvious, I didn’t know. I think I know more by knowing less. If that makes any sense at all. Because I know you precisely and doubt you absolutely. And that’s a good beginning.

    See? Told you you’re a genius.

    I think at this stage of the blog, leave a message at the sound of the truck backing up. Thank you.

    Stay kind,


    We performed I Breathe at this local in Ibiza. Kids, that’s Anders on guitar right there! And my dear friend Klaus. 

    Lost in Ibiza. But hey, spectacular view. 

    Me and Andy in a bit of a food coma after dinner.

    Sonic Vista Studios in all it’s glory. And me. 

    This right here is sweet, old, baby Otto and his traveling flea circus.

    Seven and me spent a few mornings together. Seven would tell me about what had happened the night before.

    Just being a tad happy to be there.

  7. Goethe was a bit of a chick magnet…I’m guessing.

    Dear friends,

    There’s time yet. And why bring up death this early in the blog? There’s time yet? I mean seriously… Had a mail conversation with this great german guy this week who gave me a bit of a historical, wonderful tidbit. Apparently Goethe, this fantastic german writer, biologist, painter and, wait for it, polymath, said something like, sorry I couldn’t write it shorter, but there’s just too little time. Stick that on your twitter. He also said, a correct answer is like an affectionate kiss. Sneaky way to get girls I think. Given the scenario of, what I only can suspect being, him asking brainy questions all over the place. Don’t know the answer? A kiss would apparently suffice. And what on earth is a polymath?

    But think about it. See I think he’s got a fantastic point. There’s time yet.

    Oh how I wish I was more of an outdoorsman. Got a backpack though. You need one out in the great outdoors. And the right door as well I fear, because if I step through my door, I’m right in the elevator. No great outdoors to be seen. Well, it’s got a mirror and that doubles it sort of. But it just doesn’t compare to a mountain or a lake. And try to fit a moose in it. Would be disastrous. Big news, but nothing like lake Como is it? Which is where I would like to see opening my front door. Or a pond at least. You can tell I’m quite fed up with the city really. It’s a love hate relationship. Not so much a relationship. More like an arranged marriage. I despair. And in the divorce I’m sure the city will grab my Lego in the settlement. I won’t care though, I’m an outdoorsman by then. I’ll be building Lego with sticks and stones. They may break my bones, but that’s just me trying to be witty. Seriously, what the hell is a polymath?

    There’s time yet. Because I’m not over anything yet. Hey, I’m not over being a seven year old kid, hanging at my best friends house and checking out his new drum set. Do you understand what a new, shiny dark blue drum set means to a seven year old kid like me? My best friend and he wouldn’t let me play it. I’m not over that so why why should I be over other things? Thought about that just the other day. He didn’t let me play it. Wow. Young Dr Evil. My dad quickly bought me a silvery set for my birthday…I let the very same, at this point friend with exclamation marks, play on mine. Funny how that stayed with me. He wouldn’t let me play his. And little did my dad know. But the purchase kept him complaining for like 10 years. But my best friend wouldn’t let me play on his drums. I mean what a polymath.

    Kiev is coming up. Kiev and Trondheim. Kiev, Trondheim and Ibiza. But not in that order. My good friend Klaus is getting married so I’ll pop down to Ibiza for a weekend. Ibiza is a bit of an outdoors adventure. But with drinks, snacks and music. But yes, film festival in beautiful Kiev. Trondheim first though. This weekend. Beautiful there. Deep fjords and stuff. With snacks as well I’m thinking as we’re off to see the wizard. Not really, but we’re off to write some songs. How lucky is that? And Norway, being all mythical and fairytaily, I wouldn’t be that surprised to see Gandalf or some other wiz from the Lord Of The Rings gang. Try making a schedule out of that. Confusing. A bit of a polymath some might say.

    So, in conclusion and not one step closer to the truth, I bid you a wonderful evening. 

    Stay kind,


    This one time, in an apartment that was a bit like the african savanna.

    This one time, in a plane to Kiev. With extra lens distortion. See, I’m vain too.

  8. The Crossfire.

    Dear friends,

    Just spent a few minutes listening to one of my favorite songs. Now you’ll just have to bare with me.

    See, going into specifics about the world is hard these days. There’s so many of them, specifics. And as the world gets more complicated I like to just bunch all the problems together so that I can see more clearly over the mountain when I need to. The intention and want is the same it has always been I guess. To be happy, learn and have love in our lives. And I think that will never…change. 

    Brandon Flowers sings in the song Crossfire; Watching you dress as you turn down the lights. I forget all about the storm outside. Dark clouds roll their way over town. Heartache and pain came a-pouring down. Like hail, sleet and rain, they’re handing it out.

    That’s so very, very beautiful. Listening to those words, I find myself lying on that bed. I see the contours of her dressing in the half light. A slender frame through white sheets. It’s raining outside but it doesn’t bother anyone in here. The room acts as a free-zone. Safe from the crossfire. For a while there…everything is peaceful. The air is so heavy with calm you just can’t get stressed. There’s no distractions. All is still. Just the most perfect silence. The rain hitting the windowsill hard outside as if it’s trying to break it off. But the noise is dampened…treble-less. A soft pulse. Just sounds of movement. All senses focused on just that. Those sounds. A breath. Bare feet on a thick carpet. The sound of the sheet on skin. Scraping softly. I love that. For a second, just close your eyes and try to get some of that calm. Away you go. Good innit? 

    It’s a dream…even when it’s real. Don’t tell me where to draw the line cos I don’t care. The line is a dot to me.

    He continues; Tell the devil that he can go back from where he came. His fiery arrows drew their bead in vein. And when the hardest part is over we’ll be here. And our dreams will break the boundaries of our fear. The boundaries of our fear.

    Dreams… They’ve been with me for as long as I can remember. My whole life has been a dream in one form or another. And when i’m knocked down, dreams have been the escape. It’s a great way to escape. Away from the crossfire…and the boundaries of my own fears. Almost nothing makes me happier then just dreaming myself away. Especially when the dream is real. To just allow yourself everything. To say yes, yes, yes and just stay in all the good you love. Living the dream. For periods of time. All still…all perfect. The crossfire kept at bay. Just outside the window. That room. But it’s ok to go back out too. But bring the dream into the crossfire. Why not? When I’m in an airplane seat for instance. It’s ok to peak at times. You never know. Bring it into the crossfire. In case of emergency. For your own safety. 

    And I think I’ll be like that forever. Whatever life may throw my way… If I start to dream, it will bounce right off…if it’s no good. The good I keep. Dreamer? I’m proud to say I am. 

    And if you ever catch me listening to the song Crossfire. Give me 4 minutes or a lifetime. Just dream with me ok? It just might change everything…however sure you are it won’t. I mean…we all want to live the dream right? So dream. 

    stay kind,


  9. Hoisting sails and a bit of an arr-arr.

    Dear friends,

    No man can walk out on his own story. Yet, T Capote said; More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones. Explain that in a state fashion. And with sugar on top like a gangster cannoli. 

    Out with the old, in with the new, back with some old and hey-ho, away we go. So spoke the great, and dare I say, pirate. The slightly less known Taupe Beard. Taupe by nature, beard by trade. And he was right too. Plus, it goes both ways. Although and even though, his suggestion is to be recommended and if not followed, you’d be tasting keel with your gums back in those days. These days, expect nothing to happen as times are not as cool as they were in those of Taupe Beard. Taupe by nature, beard by trade…if you didn’t quite catch that the first time. 

    Is letting go the end of love? Is ‘letting go’, a popular expression in these days, the answer to your emotional and spiritual healing? Or is it just another way to stick your head in the sand resulting in difficulties breathing, yet bringing a beachy look? Who knows? And where’s a pirate captain when you need him? Because all I know, you never wanna see stuff you like disappear out of your life. It happens, but we don’t like it. None of it.

    I’m not letting go. Me, I’m holding on for dear life. I’m at the back of the Black Earl (lesser known and considerably shabbier sister ship to The Black Pearl©), clinging hard to the port side with skinny legs waving in the wind like some sort of flag. Holding on to good, great and her buddy love & fun. Outwards! Not inwards. See, Taupe Beard, taupe by nature, beard by trade, believed in spreading the love. Not collecting it for your own good. Love yourself, sure. But only that would result in a lonely existence. No, out with it. Tell someone today that you at least like them! Let someone enrich your life and help you be a better person. See, you’ll be more lovable, if not only to yourself then. Taupe Beard, taupe by nature, beard by trade, was a great man indeed to teach us all these things. But where is he now…? And what was it really he taught us again?

    Anywho, here we are! With wind in our sails, an arrr arrr attitude and a world crumbling around us. The wind is there but few have their sails up! I’m hoisting mine as good as I can! I’m ready for the eight seas (yes, eight. Didn’t know about that last one did ya?) and to be honest, tired of all the negative. Tired of it. I’m deciding to focus on what’s good. Are we all the news now? Just reporting the sad to each other? Not trivializing what’s going on in any way, but hey, I’m a music kid. I sing songs and write music so that we can feel a little better. I write songs that comfort when you feel lonely, songs that lift you up and songs that you can dream awake to. As well as I can. Take it or leave it, that’s what I do. Love it or hate it, the under dog’s on top. And other lyrics that say the same sort of thing. I didn’t write that. The Game did. He’d probably smack my head for using that lyric in this context. I’d hug him back. He’s smack me again. I’d run sobbing and tell on him. It’s a celebration. And I bet my dad can kick his dad’s ass. God, please don’t make mr Game read this…:-)

    Starting with Africa. Seriously. If you haven’t done anything to help right now, shame on you. YOU, my buddy Steve’s company started a great initiative. A small pointer for you to help. Do it. How ever little. Ok? Thumbs on that? Cross your heart? Ok, deal. And believe me. I’ll send Taupe Beard, taupe by nature, beard by trade right after you if you fail to live up to this sacred trust we just established a few words back.

    Ok, bla, bla I hear you think mr/mrs Sceptismo. I agree, nice words, but come on, what better day then today to contribute a little? And for goodness sake, would you tax the rich in the US already? I mean, come on. Listen to mr Obama and just let go… Ok! We found the answer! I’ll still love Steve Jobs if he opens his pockets a little! Dog gone it, I’ll love him more! MESSAGE! You don’t loose love by letting go! And F those bad guys on Wall Street and other greedy places. How can they even breathe with pictures of starving kids in Africa circulating? Hey, congrats on all the wealth but…allow me to introduce you to the airlock chamber! And don’t get me wrong, I like money as much as the next guy! I just wouldn’t let kids die so I could keep it in a pile though.

    So yes. Yes, yes, yes and thank you’s for the lovely support we’re getting from Vacuum-people in Russia supporting Black Angels on radio. Warms my heart and makes me feel all tingly in my tummy. I’m bias of course, but man, do I love that song. So happy people seem to like it too. Because music, that old collection of math and emotion gets me every time. Just did a few wonderful days with Tarja Turunen. Wow… Just very, very excited about the songs we wrote. Liberating, different and soul soothing. Man, are we lucky. Also, super looking forward to Kiev on sep 17th. I miss Kiev. It’s almost like after an experience like that, it’s harder to live. It was so, so positive that normal life sort of gets a tad…too normal. I wish everyone could experience what we did. At the same time, where would we find a stage big enough? Also, who would cater? But soon I get to go back! How lucky is that?

    What an emotional roller coaster it all is. All good, but I lean slightly when I walk the city and I fear my sneakers are unequally worn down. Love those sneakers too…

    stay kind,


    Me and Tarja pointing things out.

    Me and brother W composing what was to be a very important middle 8!

    It was all very goth…in a swedish, summery kind of way.

    It was all very purdy.

    The only known painting of Taupe Beard, taupe by nature, beard by trade.

    Built myself a shuttle.

  10. 4-always.

    Dear friends,

    Where will we be in the future? With recent events and heartbreaking tragedy, killings of biblical proportion and hate? …not here, that I’m sure of. It’s the one thing I know. Not here. And how can we be sure? Just look at the love flourishing. Look at the tremendous display of love everywhere. People care for one another, flowers in great abundance dressing Oslo in a magical summers dress that, if only for the clothing, makes me fall deeply into the girl that is love. And believe me, it’s a she. It’s the most wonderful her, running and spinning down that hill in Sound Of Music. It’s Snow White and Audrey Hepburn with those magical, stunning eyes, filled with bittersweet love, strength, innocence and curiosity, all at once. She’s looking at us and I fall in love. And it’s the best thing in the world…love. Like a friend said, love, is the answer to everything. 

    The news do not reflect this. The news guesstimate and portray the hate, sensationalism, revenge and make the eyes extra red. Pour fuel on the fire of political motive and contribute to things becoming even worse. If not…what would they write about? I know the answer. And it’s a much more pleasant read. And as far as the murderer is concerned, there’s no room for him anywhere. No room.

    Also, vote in the next election. Important.

    Someone said, in the midst of this absolute sadness…something like this. If one person filled with hate can do all this. Just one person. Imagine what we can do with all our love combined. Something like that. I think it puts Einstein in his place. I think it’s so profound. It’s like words straight out of a gospel. Bless her heart how wonderful that is.

    The murdered will forever be in our lives, memories and hearts. They are so important. We have room for them always in our hearts. Always and forever more. And they will contribute greatly to our future.

    Where will we be in the future? Not here because? …love.

    stay kind,


  11. Subject to the natural forces.

    Dear friends,

    I’m subject to the natural forces. So sings mr Lyle Lovett in the song Natural Forces. A beautiful farewell to love, a tribute to the free spirit and, why don’t you shave my eyebrows off, one of my favourite pieces of music I’ve ever been exposed to. And exposed I’ve been, walking around in a towel here all morning in the south of Sweden, in what can only be described as some kind of restless rain dance. It’s been pouring down for these last 3 days in the year of our weather lord that is unpredictable and in a way, backstabbing Scandinavia. 

    "Thank you ma’am…I must decline."

    …he sings. With eyes pointed to the sky that would make a preaching preacher jealous. A PP if you will. But who am I to put words into your mouths? After Kiev I made the quick decision to use my time wisely. This summer is to be a summer of reflection and a hunter gathering type of search for inspiration and the occasional tuna carpaccio. Check on the last one. Also check on cappuccino. Although similar words, mix the two together and you’ve got yourself something quite disgusting. Ok, back to plot.

    I was quickly assigned keeper and guardian of my god daughters guinea pig Musse. A sweet but grand assignment I fear as the instruction manual was four pages long. They’re surprisingly strict when it comes to the little critters diet and hygiene. They whisked of to Greece and here I am, guarding, what can only be described as a patient of mine, according to instructions… But we’re having a sweet old time. Except for the rain. Who’d be in Greece… Plenty of friends of mine it turns out and actually. At least eight of them. We’ll sort out the financial troubles in no time. Plus, my sister is probably the number one shopoholic of this world so there will be extra cash for spinning wheel rims, giving the Greek population points in looking cool again whilst cruisin’ Acropolis those wonderful summer Athens nights… I did that once. Not the cruisin’, but the wonderful Athens night. It’s jolly. And the food. Ok, lunch.

    If you’re going through hell, keep walking. He said that. Not Lyle but Winston. I did just that. With those words echoing like a mantra, these last 6 months, that’s what I did. At some kind of end to it all I got wiser, stronger and although too serious at times, I’m out the other end with a different perspective on things. With Kiev pushing me the last stretch (told you, it meant the most to me. It’s not a competition but sorry, meant the most to me. Gold to me and I’ll see you in next years Olympics.). And better looking too. Im one step closer to my Fight Club standards. I’ve got the hair only an over protecting mother could hate. Also, I pulled myself together and rid myself of a few wisdom teeth. I fear my strong will and mature stance over the last months had made me overload on wisdom, so to equalise and dumben up, I had my good dentist Mats…or Sweeny, whatever you wanna call him, pulling too. I pulled myself together, he pulled in a slightly new direction. I now sport teeth so amazingly shiny, you could use em’ as detergent. But I will not stick my head in your washing machine. Fix your own damn teeth.  Perspectives yes. I’m putting together an exhibition for October too. So many exciting things coming this fall. Maybe not to a theatre near you, but there’s locations. It’s a big world. And it’s about perspectives. It’s funny how you can work on something and reading the meaning afterwards. My subconscious apparently has a plan for me. Goes for lyrics and other things too. Good to know my life is out of my hands and in the warm embrace of…me again? So yes, perspectives. Hello me, you’re starting to bore me slightly. Bring on the life. With lashes of Akki Sushi. Also bought myself the Alien Obduction lamp. 

    I’m trying hard here to look at the rain from a slightly different perspective. I have a wonderful beach just a short walk away. Wonderful little coffee houses where I can sit and write. It’s all here… But, I’m subject to the natural forces.

    Stay kind,


    ps: the rain just stopped…go figure. Can I catch a break?

    ps2: will update with more pictures soon. The iPad won’t allow me. It’s out of control and has no sense of who’s in charge. Or, if Apple would release the new MacBook air so I could buy it. I mean really, who’s the boss here?

    ps3: check this amazing video made by Elena. Pretty dang good if you ask me. Go ahead, I dare you, ask!:-)

    Mats, my sweet dentist shows of some of his cotton gloved moves. Total sweetheart as you can see.

    My dear friend Alla and me chilling down by the beach.

    My dear friend Olga finding the Mary in her at Holken.

    Needless to say, we had a nice day at the beach. Note the absence of rain.

    Got this picture on FB. From the vacuum meet. Look kids, it’s vacuum-person Julia!

    I took little baby Sid for coffee at Aldo’s. He liked the ice cream.

    I posed in Copenhagen a little.

    Got this planking moment from a different angle. I heard someone planked a basking shark. That’s pretty hardcore.

    Look kids, it’s Aldo. Not of the Aldo Nova fame, but the ultimo italiano super barista one.

    Just another nice one from Kiev with Michi in it.

    Me and dear friend Tobbe checking out the smushi place in Copenhagen. Smushi, I hear you yell from the top of your lungs! Yes, they combined danish smorrebrod with sushi! Ergo, smushi! Genius!

  12. Kiev - Beautiful june 24.

    Dear friends,

    I’m still breathing Kiev air. Still walking on tiny bubbles that seem to lift me above the ground a little. The happiness in me is just not letting go. And thank goodness for that. Thank you wonderful vacuum-people. Thank you for bringing me such joy. Such ultimate joy. I totally get how lucky and fortunate I am. What are the odds? Where’s rain man when you need him? 

    But again, thank you. I can never sing anywhere near grand enough to compensate for the wonderfulness that is you. And I know Michi and Olof feel the same. I’m so lucky to have them with me. My friends, my brothers in music. I’m so lucky to have at least two people who I can share this with. To be honest, without that, I would explode. They’re proof in a way it happened. Because to someone who was not there…how do you really explain? My deepest gratitude boys.

    And life moments. I’ve had just a few. When you guys flash mobbed us on stage with your wonderful signs…I will never forget it for as long as I live. Those tears you brought out in me were the happiest tears I’ve ever shed. I want you to understand that was a life moment. It touched my heart and soul on a profound, deep level.

    We walk the earth alone, I once sang. And it’s true. But not on that evening. Not that special evening in beautiful june. Not in Kiev, at that moment, in that planetarium when you held up your signs. We were there for each other. We were truly one. We are forever connected through music. We are forever connected in that moment. Thank you for making my life better in so many ways. What ever happens in life after this, and I hope many lovely things, but whatever may come, we will always have that moment. And it means the world. So here’s to many more moments my precious, dear friends.

    Back to jokes in the next blog. This one was far too important. Ok…pulled the rain man one, but don’t let that bother you.

    But I do feel special thanks are in order. You come first. Vacuum-people. You always come first. How can I ever begin to thank you? Thank you Yougin for reading that letter from Marina. Thank you for believing in this, working your heart out and making this wonderful dream come true. Thank you for being just the nicest dude. Olga, my oh my, your kindness is never ending. Thank you for your hard work and passion. Kate for your wonderful help. And to all people who were involved. To the sweet ladies at the planetarium. The guys who fixed sound, stage, lights. Oksana for taking the time to hang out with us and make us feel so welcome. I even miss the people at the hotel. You are all forever part of the Vacuum family and in our hearts. I miss you all and hope to see you soon again. 

    stay kind,


    Arriving at Kiev airport. Greeted by wonderful vacuum-people. Presents and that wonderful bread. 

    So I’ve kept some of these in color as I really want you to see the beauty of Kiev. Because it is beautiful.

    First night at the hotel. We had an early start in the morning. Michi had the small sushi. It was like 35 pieces. We had a bit of a laugh.

    Early next morning it was on. Morning show first. Olga was bright and early. We had a bit of a hard time leaving the breakfast. It was very lush…

    I pointed a bit.

    Yougin and Olga were there all along the way. 

    Had to help Brittney out a bit. 

    The first of…I think 7 TV shows we did. Great questions, great people. It was a joy.

    Michi, Yougin and Olga on our walk through the city. 

    Yougin’s a bit Depeche.

    Where did those old days go? I can tell you! Parked deep inside this garage.

    Now this guy Pavlo Shylko was just great.  

    There was this arty chick I hung out with. 

    A piece of power architecture.

    How beautiful is that ice cream stall?

    Tried to hitch a ride.

    The show grew closer and closer…

    Radio I think…

    MTV. They speak faster…

    Now he was funny! Enjoyed that radio interview.

    Me and Michi preparing at the hotel. 

    Yougin and Olga. Great shot I think.

    Now these girls were funny. So a guy comes in and he’s like “these girls really, really, really want a picture”. They were very sweet. After they got the shot and autographs I said “you’re coming to the show right”. They were like “maaaaaybe”. We had a bit of a laugh about that. 

    Michi decided a plank was in order.

    The nice guy on the left reminded me of my buddy Steve.

    Our very kind driver. Speediest man in Kiev.

    A bit of a sweet time. Sweet Oksana tagged along. I taught everyone the pose.

    Some cool wall art downtown Kiev.

    Vacuum-people meet at the hotel. We had a bit of a sweet time, just hanging out. 

    They came from all places. Odessa, Moldova, Siberia, Moscow, Minsk, Piter…you name it. Amazing.

    Next day and new TV show. 

    Now this was a funny one! They had a frog! Political singer frog! I wanted the frog. They didn’t give it to me. Maybe next time…:-)

    Loads of these.

    Bought new shoes for the trip. Only to find similar but way cooler ones in Kiev. Think I’m gonna get me a pair of real clown shoes.

    Those guys were super cool!

    Kiev’s Dr Phil. 

    Some more pointing.

    The show. Posted plenty of pixels in the last blog. But hey…one or two.

    Life moment. 

    I wanted to put this picture in as it portrays the absolute wonderful kindness that is, and I’m so proud to say, my friend, Michi.

    Look at that…

    And that… It rained a little. Cooled us off in a great way.

    At the press conference. 

    The mighty Shuster Show. Was so nice. See you again in september. 

    Me and Michi in an interview. Time was too short.

    The mighty planetarium.

    Signing after the show. Thanx beautiful people.

    Olof calming my nerves before the concert.

    Olof and Michi after the show.

    Oksana joined us to Shuster. I was ever so slightly focused. 

    Hanging with our friends after the show. 

    They came to wave us of…love all of you guys.

  13. Kiev Planetarium, beautiful june.

    Dear friends,

    Sometimes pictures speak volumes. The ultimate joy.

    Blog almost there…bare with me.

    stay kind,


  14. Vacuum Official on that FaceBook.

    Dear friends,

    Today we opened up Vacuum Official on FaceBook. Please feel free to join in. We want this to be a meeting point for vacuum-people to share stories, pixels and video…well, everything vacuum-people esque really. Let’s make it cozy!

    So just look up Vacuum Official on FB!

    stay kind,


    ps: Blog still in the works:-)

  15. Stand by & bare with me for Kiev blog…

    Dear friends,

    I’m still slightly overdosed on love by the Kiev extravaganza. Blog is in the works. I have plenty to say so as usual just bare with me. In the meantime, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. As I have not figured out how to put words to all this…I quote Chevy Chase…think I’m gonna need some plastic surgery to wipe the smile of my face. 

    stay kind,


    There will be a little of this…

    Some of this…

    And some amazing never to be forgotten moments like this.